TeamGilda

I have internalized oppression I am discovering, and the fact  ist I have internalized forms of oppression in ways that I have no conscious of.   I have not even come to understand.  In other words, I have internalized oppression in so many ways that I have yet to discover the ways that I have internalized oppression.  With age, experience, and education I am now seeing, discovering the ways in which that I have internalized oppression gaining a new consciousness of oppression in regards to myself in terms of my race, gender, sexuality, able body, and various other attributes.  For example, I now have a sense of awareness on the fact that my father has experienced racism and thus how it has affected me, and shaped the woman that I am today.  A great example of this is how I do not speak Spanish fluently.  

I have internalized English as dominate thus “better” language and for  thirty years of my life ignoring the language of my people, my blood, and my spirit.  The fact that I grew up in the safe city of Portland, OR gave me advantages that comes with being white.  I grew into Amanda.  Failing to ignore Engracia.  The name given to me at birth, in honor of my grandmother who breaths the air o fMexico as I do sitting in Los Angeles.  Social location links me to the rest of the families that live further north of  border.  I have oppressed others by not even accepting my own culture.   Not knowing the history has denied the langua that gives power to these experiences in words that can be directly translated.

Living the life as a domestic worker is yet another way that I oppress by assimulating to the roles ascribed to Latinas in the US.  As my life continues down the path of higher education, I am excited to see how my life experiences have influenced me in more surprising ways!  Embrace the journey!

-Engracia Ayala