Terri de la Peña Got Me Into Ancestry Research

Hi everyone,

I hope this Monday finds you well. I know it's a rough time in the quarter but I hope you're using that facultad and survivin'! I wanted to post about how much Terri de la Peña's visit affected me. I enjoyed her "Actor's Studio" interview very much and as an avid fan of Margins  and her other novels, I appreciated her candor on why she writes and her more current life project of looking for her family ancestry. This last part was something I was not prepared for. I myself have been putting off researching my ancestry for lack of time, and honestly making excuses that there just wasn't enough information for me to go on. To begin my oversharing session I'll let you know that I practically grew up fatherless. My father struggled with drug addiction and alcoholism from his teens, and left my older sister, my mother and I before my 6th birthday. So, as far as looking for my paternal ancestry, the trail is pretty cold there. My mother's family on the other hand is warm, open to questions and loves to brag about ancestors. My grandfather is notorious for boasting that he hid Catholic priests in his family barn during the Cristero Wars of Mexico (1926-1929). although these stories of bravery and family histories remain, my mother's side and its trail goes cold after my grandfather shared that his mother left him also before his 6th birthday, and I'm left wondering what I can do to trace my roots beyond the 1920s. See what I mean about excuses? It wasn't until Terri's admittal to having had a DNA test done with her cousins that I realized I didn't have to lament my family's lack of info and I could have a DNA test done to sort out at least some questions about my heritage. 

Although it's been a few weeks, my decision to partake in a test of my DNA reminds me of Cherrie Moraga's essay "La Guera" and of our discussions on her writing. You could say that I too yearn for family, for "tribe". Except in my case, I'm happy to explore my identity beyond my pale skin. My "Guera-ness" only says so much. It tells strangers that I can enjoy some amount of white privilege (although I can problematize that in a minute), but what my pale skin tells me is that I can't live with just the assumption that somewhere down the line European blood mixed with Indigenous/Black blood. I'd like to use science to tell me a bit of what I can't assume. Finally, I write to you because I feel that this speaks to what Chicana lesbians have theorized in their own writings, a need to look deeper into their own selves, and ask for what they need and want despite their culture telling them the opposite. 

I posted a link of the test that I got in case anyone is interested, see you tomorrow!

Sincerely, 

Angelica

http://shop.nationalgeographic.com/ngs/browse/productDetail.jsp?productId=2001246&code=NGHPFO94239

Not what I was hoping for!

First off, I just want to say that I am very happy I chose this book although I did not like the ending.. it made me sad! Poor Valeria did not have that happy ever after ending. Her lover left her for a man when we all know that Genovesa is in love with Valeria. They traveled the world together and basically just made each other glow. While reading this I couldn't help but feel sympathy for Valeria, she had a rough life starting as a child. Her family was not supportive of Valeria, her own brother hated her guts. At one point in the book I swore the brother was going to actually kill Valeria, I mean he always tried. Coming from a wealthy family money was not an issue, the only issue was that Valeria's dad controlled all the money. He was not to fond of the choices Valeria made in her life, especially having a lady lover. So he could take Valeria's money whenever he wanted to. The family pretty much makes Valeria's life a living hell, which to me is so sad. Couldn't they eventually just accept who she truly is? The more time Valeria spent with Genovesa the further Valeria and her family grew apart. I wish I could go into detail about how bad her family treats her but you'll just have to find out tomorrow!

Profe and the ROC (Renee O'Connor aka "Gabrielle")

Okay, so this picture was taken a long time ago, at least ten or so years, but to celebrate that I FINALLY SENT OFF THE BOOK MANUSCRIPT this afternoon, literally chasing after the FedEx guy to wait for me to finish taping up the package, I thought I'd do something playful here and show you that picture I took when ROC was playing Lady Macbeth at "Shakespeare by the Sea" in San Pedro that summer. This was after I'd given her a copy of Sor Juana's Second Dream and she graciously agreed to take a picture with me. Not that you'd notice, but pay attention to where my arm is, I mean, she was tiny and I not so much. I've been meaning to share it with you all since I told you about the experience, so here it is. I really enjoyed our class today, and the way that most of you seemed to grasp the different steps of the process of "mestiza consciousness," and how to apply them to a reading of Terri de la Peña's MARGINS.

Next stop is the course website where I promise to upload more specific instructions on how to prepare your Midterm Book Review. Really looking forward to what you all are going to come up with in your presentations for next week. Have a great weekend. I can't believe I don't have to stay up until 5am working on my manuscript. That baby is on its way to the book-making elves at University of Texas Press, soon to become UN/FRAMING THE "BAD WOMAN": SOR JUANA, MALINCHE, COYOLXAUHQUI AND OTHER REBELS WITH A CAUSE. And by soon, I mean Spring 2014. Someday you'll see it on a reading list. Maybe even yours....one day....La Profe

Sueño de las Sirenas by Juan R. Fuentes

Molly Bolt's First Kiss

"We threw our arms around each other and kissed". 

My stomach felt funny.

"Does your stomach feel strange?"

"Kinda." (pg. 49)

 

One's first kiss is one to remember and reading about Molly's first kiss to Leota was something special. It was the first time that Molly came to realize that she was attracted to women. Author Rita Mae Brown choice of adding Molly's first kiss is able to make the reader relate to Molly's first kiss. 

The innocence of one's first kiss is often one that is always remembered with great fondness. 

THAT feeling, in which your stomach is turning inside out and you feel queazy but you don't know why. 

THAT feeling that makes you smile so much that you don't know how to stop (or if you want to).

THAT feeling of a million butterflies fluttering throughout your stomach. 

THAT feeling when you know that it is something special that you will forever remember. 

Yes, it is THAT feeling that makes one relate to Molly and remember one's first kiss of butterflies in the stomach. Oh the fondness of one's firsts in life. 

I’m queer, so what? I’m more than that.

I can admit

                                    That

I’m more than this.

Mission in life:

Remember now…

All is good when

I

                                                Take

            A breath

“be here now, now be here”

Not denying where I am, or who I come from.

Increasing lenses manifesting
through new visions.

facultad, pasas por mi.

palabra cierta cuando vuela mi pluma.

Refleccion de luna llena,

vivo mi vida por tus pasos

Milli. Coyolxauhqui. Mother of the Tides.

Madre

de mís sentimientos.

declaring moments aloud

My cycles are your cycles.

Shadow Beast,
Let me release

as you wane.  

Where Are You From?

Throughout the past week we have discussed borders, both metaphysical and physical and what they mean within our communities. Through these discussions, I felt the inclination of writing about my own borders and the relevance they hold on my intersecting identities. I write about self-transformation in the form of healing, something that Gloria Anzaldua writes about through understanding Mestiza Consciousness. As a womyn of color from immigrant parents, I write about what those identities mixed in with the wrath of patriarchy and Machismo look like in my own growth and upbringing. As well as recognizing that I am both privileged and disadvantaged in my life. With this, I share my thoughts and feelings while learning not only about Chicana Lesbian Literature, but also about myself and everything I encompass.

Where are you from?

I am from my mothers womb

connected to her soul

built and constructed inside her body

with a mixture of love for and abuse from

my father

I am from my mothers womb

created and fostered in the strawberry fields

and the sweet aroma of agriculture

molded with the hard working hands of my parents

I am stuck between two lands that do not want me

‘ni de aqui, ni de alla’

Pocha, gringa, Americana

indigena

I am from my mothers flesh and blood

'con miles heridas abiertas'

I continue to shed blood for the rape of my people

longing for a connection with my indigenous gente 

I am from my mothers skin

shedding the pain her mother passed down to her

I shed the machismo that left her bruised

I am healing

from the pain my mothers lived

and has survived.

I am surviving

for her, my home.

-Eunice C. Gonzalez-Sierra